Donation Nation

At some point in your life, you have probably been asked to donate to some sort of cause. Maybe you were asked via email. Maybe they sent a no-postage required envelope to your house. Maybe you were guilted by a Santa ringing a bell outside of Macy’s last Christmas. Whatever the case, you also know that there are two major emotions that you can feel in said situation:

1.) Pride in your generosity.

2.) Guilt in having clung to that dollar.

Unfortunately, there are many customers that—for whatever reason—are not able to donate. And I completely understand that. People have bills to pay and other things to take care of. But when you have a $200 grocery order, and you’re paying with a credit card, is it not safe to assume that you have one or two dollars in your disposable income to donate to funding childhood cancer research?

But, what do you do if you’re the one tasked with asking people to donate?  How do you handle the rejection of every other customer cutting you off in the middle of your mandatory “Would you like to donate a dollar to XYZ” dialogue? Here’s some simple tips:

1. Smile.

If you haven’t noticed, this is my tip for everything. People respond favorably to happy people (for the most part). They’re more likely to want to donate if you aren’t looking down at your phone, distracted while they’re at your register.

2. Be Creative.

Chances are, your customer has, like you, been asked to donate many times before—so make it fun! Think of new ways to bring up the donation apart from the dry, cookie cutter dialogue. Be engaging.

3. Accept the Rejection.

Yes, it sucks when people say no. It feels kind of personal in some weird way. But it’s not the end of the world—there are dozens of other customers to ask. Don’t let one denial stop you from asking the next.

The Holiday Rush

As you all know, yesterday we celebrated (or momentarily acknowledged/scrolled past a Facebook status featuring the topic of) Easter Sunday. And you know what that means in the world of retail: the dreaded holiday rush.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking—how hard could Easter possibly be?

In the grand scheme of major holidays, it probably falls between Christmas and Halloween. As in, you need to buy more than you would to satisfy hoards of trick-or-treaters but less than you would to host a dinner party in Whoville. But I’m going to tell you what it feels like when you walk into a shift on any given day (up to 10 days) before a holiday.

All in all, it feels something like this:

Let me break that down for you:

1. You walk into the store while taking a deep breath. You have a coffee in your hand. You’re prepared for this. You’re ready to go. You were made to handle the holiday rush. You’ve got your patient smile ready to go. Nothing will get you down today.

2. It’s been fifteen minutes since you clocked in. There’s still a line at the desk leftover from the associate who was there before you. You stare longingly at your coffee—which you haven’t touched since you walked in because it would be impolite to drink in front of a customer.

3. Okay, it slowed down a little bit. You can breathe. You can exchange a knowing look with every coworker you lock eyes with. You did it. You survived.

4. WAIT—where did all these customers come from? The store was just empty! Were they all in the aisles, lying in wait? Did they form an attack plan with a code word to strike just as you and your coworkers let your guard down?

5. Your manager, who has been sitting comfortably upstairs in his office, shows his face for the first time since you walked in. He takes one look around and tries to quell the blazing storm in a method quite similar to that of throwing a glass of tap water at the flames.

6. You have answered the same question about Cadbury Eggs (“We’re out, sorry.”) and the .70 off coupon from the flyer (“No, I’m sorry, you have to buy the store brand. We aren’t substituting.”) for what feels like hours now. There’s a spill in aisle 5. There are no carts in the lobby. The phone is ringing for three different departments. Will the shift ever end?

7. You’ve looked at the clock every minute for the past hour. There’s an 98% chance you are stuck in a time warp.

But then, after what feels like a month, the day of the holiday arrives. The store closes five hours early and you spend most of your shift avoiding work with your friends because the store is near empty and your manager has the day off.

Congratulations—you’ve survived the rush!

You now have one month to mentally prepare for Mother’s Day.

How To Satisfy a Customer (Without Really Trying)

As listed in my latest Buzzfeed article, there are many different kinds of customers. Some are friendly, and you won’t mind spending an extra minute chit-chatting with them about the price of Easter candy. Others are, well, less so, and will probably be the ones waving their receipts in your face insisting the sign said Buy One, Get One.

Either way, all species of customer are customers nonetheless and you are therefore required to afford them a certain level of respect. But that doesn’t mean you can’t streamline the process of serving them a little bit. The following is a foolproof guide to getting the customer in and out in a (presumably) satisfied manner.

The best part about it? You’re so good at serving customers, you should be able to follow the steps without even trying.

1. Smile.
   This is so simple an action that it should almost be a reflex. Don’t keep looking down at your group chat when you see a customer approaching from the corner of your eye. Look up. Make eye contact. Be polite.
   .
2. Greet them with enthusiasm.
   You’re already smiling (hopefully), so take it one step further. Make them feel welcome. Exuding positivity will hopefully incline them to do the same and may even soften them up if they’re coming to you with a complaint.
   .
3. Ask how you can assist them.
   This is what you were hired for. This is your purpose. You got this.
   .
4. Brainstorm solutions to their problem/answers to their question.Most times, there are a few different ways you can solve a problem for a customer. The approach I take involves making things extremely easy for pleasant and friendly customers and saving lengthier processes for the Unnecessarily Rude. Ethical? No. Temporarily therapeutic? You bet.
   .
5. Assist them quickly and efficiently.
   Do not follow the steps of my aforementioned method. You are a well-oiled customer service machine. Change your Twitter handle to @QuickandEfficient to let everyone know how good you are at your job.
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6. Thank them for their patience.
   Not all answers are quick fixes. Sometimes the customer has to stand there and wait for you to call the Head of the Floral Department who has to page with the manager who is—you guessed it—on a conference call for the next half hour. If you’re bored holding the phone to your ear just imagine how they’re feeling.
   .
7. Smile (again).Oh, come on, it’s not that hard.
   .
8. And repeat.

Psst… are you more of a visual learner? Check out the infographic here.

18 Types of Customers You See in Retail

1. Easy Customers

Thank you for allowing me to assist you while exerting the least amount of energy.

—See the full list on Buzzfeed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter!

How to Know If You’re A “Regular”

“How often do we have to come here to be regulars, do you think?”

My friend asked me this question while we were out celebrating a co-worker’s birthday. I took a look down the length of the bar and wondered just how many patrons the bartenders knew by name. Or at least by facial recognition.

Are they on a first name basis? Do they have their drink order memorized? Do they know random minor details about their life that they feel obliged to bring up weekly in an attempt to make polite small talk?

I created a mental lineup of all the customers I see regularly at the service desk—from the ones I enjoy talking to to the ones that have me gritting my teeth. Besides the fact that they probably live in the area and shop at the same store, this random group of people don’t seem to have much in common.

So, what was it? What separated these Regulars from the Oftens and the Sometimes? Throughout the week I observed some of the Regulars, and I came up with some criteria:

1. They’re in the store every day. Sometimes twice a day. And when they haven’t shown up by 11:30 a.m. with the usual stack of lottery tickets in hand, I start to wonder if they’re sick. I know they haven’t gone on vacation, because they definitely would have talked to me .
2. They have a nickname. Crazy Coupon Lady. Irish Elevator Guy. Older Guy With the Daughters Who Remembers My Birthday. Basically they are in the store so frequently they have a distinct thing that sets them apart from the other, dare I say normal, customers.
3. They notice when you aren’t there. Essentially, they’re at the store more than I am. If I have one day off, they ask me where I’ve been or if my shifts have changed. On the inside, I’m thinking: I get paid to be here, what’s your excuse? 
4. They have a ‘usual.’ A usual order… A usual greeting… Something I have memorized about them that pops into my head when I see them. I have one customer who comes up to buy cigarettes and all I have to ask is “How Many?” I have another whose lottery ticket numbers I could recite in my sleep.
5. They know & remember small details about your life. This can either be extremely nice or incredibly weird. Nice, because a customer now calls me ‘Doctor’ because one time I told him I want to go for my PhD. Weird because I told him that like five months ago and he still managed to remember it.

Basically, you’re at the store more than any of the part-time employees, and you enjoy it. You’re even the Mayor of the store on Foursquare—wear the badge with pride.

The Commandments of Customer Service

1. Thou shalt not argue with the customer.
   You know that phrase ‘The customer is always right’? Trust me on this one—they aren’t. Despite this, you must not challenge their intelligence. It’s your job to keep the customer happy. Put aside your desire to prove them wrong about the sale price of granola bars and it’ll be over before you know it.
   .
2. Thou shalt not forget to smile.
   Not every single second—you don’t want to scare the customer away—but unless you want to hear someone asking you some variation of ‘What’s wrong?’ for the next few hours, it’s easier to smile at the customer first thing.
   .
   Plus, you have a great smile, you should show it off.
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3. Thou shalt not let the customers upset you.
   Sometimes customers are having a bad day and will use you as a sort of verbal punching bag. Know that you have most likely done nothing to warrant their attitude, but can help to improve it by solving their problems as quickly an efficiently as possible.
   .
4. Thou shalt not stare at the cute customers.
   Not for too long, anyway. They’ll always sense you looking. And they’ll always catch you doing it.
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5. Thou shalt not try to eat a meal while on the clock.
   You might think you’ll be able to sneak a few bites of Easy Mac between customers, but you’re wrong. Customers have developed the ability to catch you just as that utensil touches your lips. Stick to beverages or one-bite snacks like popcorn.
   .
6. Thou shalt not acknowledge how empty the store is.
   Customers have the innate capacity to overhear an employee acknowledge the emptiness/business of a store from a mile away. The second you so much as think about how easy your shift has been, a hoard of patrons will attack.
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7. Thou shalt not look like you’re having too much fun.
   After all, you are at work. Your manager might encourage a positive attitude but discourage the sound of laughter during work hours. Go figure. That being said…
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8. Thou shalt not forget to have fun.
   Look both ways for your manager before laughing at your co-worker’s spot-on impression of that last customer.
   .
9. Thou shalt not forget to wear comfortable shoes.
   Fashionable footwear has no place behind the service desk #UggSquad.
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10. Thou shalt not look at the clock.
    Seriously. Just don’t do it.

14 Feels Everyone Working Customer Service Has Experienced

1. When there are two of you standing behind the service desk, but the customer locks eyes with you:

Maybe if I just stand still she won’t see me…

—- Want to see the rest? Check out my latest Buzzfeed post!

How to Love Your Job

I’m about to say something not many people can: I love what I do.

Maybe not 100% of the time—because then I’d be crazy—but overall, I’m content.

I figure I should tell you this now before I (passive aggressively) get any deeper into what it’s really like being in the service culture. Like my last post suggested, there will be many a time when customers push me to the edge of sanity—and there are many a Buzzfeed list that assure me I am not alone in the struggle (Try this one. Or maybe this one). But most of the time, whether I’m behind the customer service counter or at an event, I’m having a good time.

Hopefully, after sharing some of the reasons I love my job (as average as it is), you’ll find a way to love yours.

1. I get to work with my friends.

I’ve spent roughly 5 years, minus a few weeks of vacation, with the same core group of people (one of them being my best friend of 15 years). We’ve faced the same battles, huddled over the takeout menu of the local pizza place during a Saturday night shift, and understand when the other needs to hide in the back to avoid that customer. And in case we haven’t seen enough of one another during the week, we even get together on Sundays to watch Game of Thrones. I’d like to think our friendship makes us excited to be at work and, in turn, makes us better employees. 

2. I get to meet a lot of people.

Like a lot, a lot. And though a large majority of my interaction with customers is small talk, most of the people I encounter are actually fun to talk to. Especially when they make an effort to contribute something beyond the generic script, which reads something like:

Customer: Hi!
Customer: *Obvious comment about the weather*
Customer: *Obvious comment on how busy/empty the store is*
Customer: *Unrelated story about personal life*
Me: Customer: *States actual reason for approaching the service desk*
Customer: Thank you!

Breaking this script can lead to interesting things—sometimes creepy—but interesting for the most part. I’ve always felt you can tell a lot about a person by how well they can strike up a conversation with someone they’ve just met. I don’t exactly consider myself an expert in this field, but there are a lot of customers I’d like to thank for the daily practice.

3. I get to help people.

You know that warm feeling you get when you do something good for someone else? I get to feel that every day. It almost feels weird to say because I’m usually helping people in such small ways that sometimes I don’t even realize I’ve helped them until they say Thank You. And the longer I work in the service culture, the more I realize that serving people is just a paid form of helping them.

And if you think about it like that, what I do is a win-win scenario.

Practicing Patience

Today’s lesson: Life is too short to let a bad customer ruin your day.

Simple, right? Well, five years into my life of customer service, this is something I have to remind myself quite often. Not to say that I’ve been cursed with hoards of unfortunate customers—there are actually a few regulars that I enjoy seeing on the daily—but every once in a while there will be a human who seems to exist solely to cause you anguish. This person has never mastered the virtue of patience. And they will test the limits of yours.

When it’s your job to fix people’s problems, customers will come to you expecting exactly that. But let’s be real—no one has all the answers. We might be able to make up some pretty good ones, but ethics tell us that isn’t how we should be doing our jobs. So that leaves us with telling the customer all that we can do to help them, and praying they don’t ask for more.

Which, obviously, they will.

This is where you practice patience. It is a long lost art, but still one that I feel can go a long way in a tough situation. Usually, the aforementioned customers have no patience, thus leading them to demand help that you feel you can’t provide. At which you will smile and remain outwardly calm because, in that moment, you are the face of the company you work for.

Tip #1: Remain calm

You can do this! You’ve made it through their explanation of why they’re angry with you/your coworker/the janitor, which is by far the longest part. The pain you are starting to feel inside is simply your patience growing stronger. Every second that you manage to remain civilized while someone is diverting their anger at you is simply proving how good you are at your job.There are not many people who could stand there and take that unwarranted verbal harassment…. and that makes you pretty awesome if you think about it.

Tip# 2: Do Your Best

You know how to do your job better than the customer does (no matter what they claim while yelling at you in front of a line of other customers). You’re doing the best you can and if that fails to please them, or if you feel you might be burning the last of your patience reserves, you’re allowed to ask for help. This is not an admission of defeat. Some customers are only satisfied after speaking to the highest authority. You’re not any less competent at your job or annoying your manager. Serving customers is their job, too.

Tip #3: Hang in There

It’ll be over before you know it! Focus on remembering that when that customer leaves, you are free. Sure, you still have three hours of your shift left, but you survived! You have just won the Championship of Patience. And odds are you won’t be subjected to two horrible customers in the same day. Let that knowledge soothe your soul as you return to your previously joyous life.

An Introduction to The Service Culture

I want you to picture your favorite cashier.

Maybe it’s that cute boy who works at your local Panera and always greets you by name when it’s your turn to order. Or maybe it’s the older woman who always compliments something about you when you’re checking out at the grocery store. Either way, he or she has that one thing about them that makes your entire shopping/ordering experience worth waiting in line behind a family of five with a crying infant.

That thing is a combination of :

  

Kidding! …(sort of).

While your favorite service worker may seem to have all the ingredients of a Powerpuff Girl, he or she is actually the perfect formulation of personality, patience, and (probably) caffeine.

Picture your favorite cashier again. They’re probably always smiling, seemingly having a great time despite the line of customers that await them. You feel they are genuinely interested in even the smallest things you’re saying, right down to your overly-customized sandwich order.

As you’re walking away from them, you find yourself envying their positivity. You wonder if they’re always like this or if maybe you’re just their favorite customer. You wish you could pick their brain and find their secret to happiness. The map to their private island of patience.

Enter: me.

Your friendly, digital guide to the inner workings of your favorite cashier’s mind.

“But I have never been/ am not/ will never be a cashier!”

Well, that’s awesome for you! (0% sarcasm intended- I actually envy you) But you still have to socialize with people, don’t you? Isn’t there some collective of administrators/coworkers/customers to deal with on the daily? Some group of people you find yourself interacting with that you have to serve/please to some extent?

That’s right you do.

And that’s why I’m here to teach you a little bit about the customer service industry and the way we can make you feel like you’re our favorite customer in the entire world. Even though you just fought with us over that sale on avocados. For seven minutes. I’m going to teach you how we smile through all of that stuff and make you feel like your problems are our number one priority.

But before I get into all of that, here’s a little bit about your tour guide:

I’m Ashley. And though I’ve been small-talking with people for about 22 years now, I only started getting paid for it around six years ago- and I love it. Most of the time. My role in the service culture is three-fold: brand ambassador, customer service associate, and social media intern.

Between these three positions, I get to experience a myriad of other humans. As a brand ambassador, I get to travel around to different locations to serve them; at the customer service desk, I serve them by (hopefully) solving their problems; and as a social media intern, I get to serve people online without even seeing their faces. And have I mentioned I’m in my second semester of grad school?

Let’s just say, all in all, I’ve served a lot of people.

And through my many years of practice, I would like to think I’ve acquired that thing I mentioned earlier. That combination of qualities that allows me to stay outwardly positive during even the longest of shifts on the craziest of days. Don’t get me wrong though- I am still a human with a limit to how much I can take from customers. And if you catch me at the tail end of a Pre-Snow Day rush, I’ll probably look like I just came back from war.

But I wish to share my experiences with you- the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ll tell you about how I’ve managed not to hop over the counter and attack the woman who thinks I personally caused everything that went wrong with her shopping experience. I’ll tell you about the friendships I’ve made with my coworkers. And I’ll do it all while using a variety of appropriately humorous gifs.

Stay tuned.